The loss of a beloved pet can be just as traumatizing as the death of any other family member. Pets have a way of filling spaces in our families that we never knew needed filling. And once that pet passes away, a void opens up and becomes a hole that many fear they may never be able to fill again. That feeling of loss and sadness is normal and even healthy, and an important part of the grieving process.
The truth is, the pain of losing a pet never goes away. But it does change in many ways with time. So much so, that many pet owners and families know there will ultimately be a time – not to replace a deceased pet – but to honor them by providing another animal with a loving home, consistent affection, lots of play, and true companionship. When, exactly, does that time arrive? It’s entirely up to you, the bereaved. But we have put together 5 signs that may indicate the time for you to bring another pet into your life is now, or perhaps soon.
One: You Have Said Goodbye To Your Previous Beloved Pet
Death is confusing. And when people are confused, they often make bad decisions. When a beloved pet dies, either expectedly or unexpectedly, the bereaved are flooded with a storm of complex emotions from sadness, depression, and loneliness to anger, guilt, despair, and even hope and relief. Death is more complicated than we pretend it to be. But saying goodbye to a deceased pet is a critical step to living a future that is full of joy, love, and fulfilling experiences. Love is finding happiness in the happiness of others, and your pet would love to see you happy.
Happiness, however, is difficult to attain when you are in pain over the loss of your pet. There is no schedule or timeline for how long it takes a person or family to internalize the death of a pet and begin to imagine a meaningful life without them. Saying goodbye is not a singular event, but a process. Begin by planning a funeral that represents the life of your animal and your relationship together.
Make a List That Connects Your Pet Family Members:
Next, when the time is right, say goodbye to your pet by making a list of everything that your deceased pet would want for your next pet. Where would your deceased pet want the bed to be placed? What toys would it like? What kind of food would it want for your next beloved pet? Where would it like to be taken on walks? Or scratched? How would it like to celebrate its birthday?
By making a list of the things that your deceased pet loved, you are both honoring their life and the time you spent together, while also connecting that past relationship with a new relationship that is about to begin. Remember, pets love unconditionally, and your deceased pet would want you to continue to offer your soul and spirit to the world by caring for an animal that wants to be loved. Goodbyes are simply a promise to live with others in your heart.
Two: You Are Emotionally Ready for a New Companion
Mourning, in many ways, never ends. But there are days when we feel less devastated by our sense of loss than others. Hopefully, we reach a point where those good days outnumber the bad days, and perhaps we even attain a place where those good days become the norm.
Being emotionally ready to commit to a new pet relationship – and all of the responsibilities that come with being a good companion – is more of a feeling than an actual intellectual decision. At some moment, perhaps in the shower, or driving in your car, or simply waking up on a random Tuesday morning you realize: I’m ready for a new pet companion. This is a wonderful moment.
Being emotionally ready for a pet relationship, as with any relationship, is feeling that you are able to give love to others, and not just receive it for your own personal benefit. The joy of owning a pet comes from the love and experiences you can provide the animal – those moments that make it wag its tail, pure, or simply swim, sleep, and exist knowing they are loved, safe, and free to be themselves.
Being emotionally available also means that you have found peace with the passing of your previous pet and that you know your deceased pet – wherever we go when we die – would be proud of you as a new pet owner, and having learned the lessons your deceased pet taught you during your precious time together.
[Check out the Top Five Pet Loss Books for Children]
Three: You Are Financially Stable and Committed
Pets, like people, get hurt, sick, and unfortunately, pass away. All of these events cost money – oftentimes, quite a lot of money. Sadly, most of us could use the unconditional love and companionship of an animal that never judges when we are experiencing hardship in life. A broken heart. A loss of trust or innocence. A financial struggle. But the harsh reality is that not having the financial means to own or provide for a pet can result in terrible hardship and heartache for everyone involved. No one becomes a pet owner thinking that they’ll be a bad parent or companion. Pet people are what is right with the world, and no one should ever be judged for wanting to feel the joy of providing for an animal.
And no one can predict financial strife. It often comes out of nowhere, and through no fault of our own. However, being financially stable is essential to all pet owners, because sometimes your love just isn’t enough to get your pet through a serious injury, medical condition, or cancer diagnosis. Visits to the veterinarian are inevitable and can be very expensive. From vaccinations and vital pet medications to broken bones and unforeseen diseases, pets require extensive medical attention.
In addition, the daily responsibilities of caring for a pet are also quite pricey. Healthy pet foods can burden your budget; in fact, sometimes feeding a pet can feel just as expensive as feeding a person. These important aspects of caring for a pet also require money:
- Grooming
- Cleaning
- Treats
- Toys
- Beds
- Leashes
- Pet Sitters
- Boarding Facilities
- Pet Training
- Traveling with a Pet
- Routine Medical and Dental Exams
And what happens if your pet actually outlives you? Who will care and provide for them?
Just as you would save money and have insurance plans for your spouse, children, and family, you should explore financial options and insurance plans for your family members that are pets. Here are a few to consider:
- Living Trusts/Individual Trusts for Your Pet
- Life Insurance Policies (designating the pet’s future caregiver as the beneficiary)
- Annuities (designating the pet’s future caregiver as the beneficiary)
- Pet Estate Plans
Ask your veterinarian about pet insurance plans, and which options best suit your – and your pet’s – situation. Insurance premiums can be quite reasonable, especially when compared to emergency visits. For more information and an unbiased review of the best pet insurance plans and options, please visit this Investopedia article that provides useful information and details.
For additional information about the value and necessity of Pet Insurance, check out this article from The Dodo addresses “5 Common Pet Insurance Myths, Debunked.”
Four: Your Human Family and Support System Is Ready
Pets, like people, long to be part of a family, a community, and feel the safety of being part of a loving and supportive group that has everyone’s health, happiness, and best interests at heart. However, sometimes not everyone in a pet family is ready or prepared for the responsibilities of pet ownership.
The sad truth is that many pets, once brought into a family, end up not being a good fit for a variety of reasons – family members who are allergic, lack of time or resources, a sudden change in living conditions – and end up needing to be rehomed or placed into a shelter. There is nothing wrong with admitting this is not the time or situation for you and your family to be adopting a pet or bringing an animal into your home for the long term.
Pet ownership is always a tempting life choice. After all, who doesn’t want to be greeted by a dog jumping and wagging its tail as you return from work? Or having a companion to visit the park with on a beautiful spring day? Or having an animal that knows when you are sick on the couch, and in need of some affection, or in need of the gratifying feeling we get from benign needed. Pets are awesome.
There is a reason every child in the world will excitedly exclaim, “I promise to clean up after the pet, take it for walks, feed it, and attend to its every need.” Wanting a pet is a natural and deep need within human beings. Pets bring value and joy and meaning to our lives. But before you bring a new pet into your family and situation, make sure you have a support system that will love and take care of the pet when unexpected challenges upend our own lives.
Five: Your Home and Environment Are Pet-Proofed
Going through the motions of preparing for a new pet, like pet-proofing your home, is an emotional experience that will tell you if you are ready – or not ready – for a new pet. Your home will be filled with memories of your previous pet, and that is totally fine. While this may be an emotional experience, having an emotional response is a healthy sign that you are able to feel, love, and do what is necessary to care for a new pet.
It may have been a long time since you’ve had a new pet in your home, so remember that new environments, especially for young and rambunctious animals, can be very stressful and cause some unexpected behaviors. So take time to thoughtfully pet-proof your home for your new companion. Consider these important precautions:
Keep dangerous chemicals and materials in secure, out-of-reach places like locked containers and cabinets and high shelves and unreachable spaces. Especially pay attention to these threats:
- Laundry detergents and chemicals such as bleach and stain removers.
- Cleaning supplies including solutions, sprays, sponges, and even mop heads
- Medications, lotions, and health products from pills and mouthwash to soap and sunscreen.
- Garage items such as gasoline containers, fertilizers, engine oils, and spills.
- Choking hazards such as small toys or refuse, especially hidden in corners, under furniture, and behind appliances.
- Keep cabinets latched, trash cans and lids secure, and block dangerous places where pets may unknowingly stray into and cause trouble.
- Secure all electrical cords and wires (try an electrical cord organizer) connected to lights, computers, televisions, clocks, and virtual assistants (Alexa, Siri).
- Maintain plants in a safe place, especially if they are poisonous or can be knocked over and cause damage. Also, check out this list of poisonous plants that pose a threat to your pet.
Knowing when to welcome a new pet into your life and your family can generate some powerful feelings and complex reactions. New beginnings are exciting and full of reasons to be joyful and celebrate. But new beginnings also bring new responsibilities and candid assessments of your capacity to fulfill those responsibilities.
However, as long as you are honest with yourself and why you want a new pet and your ability to provide for that new pet, you will make the best decision for both you and the animal. Remember: even though the audit of your life and current situation may mean you are not ready for a new pet, that doesn’t mean you won’t be ready for a new pet at some point in the future. Perhaps even very soon.
If you, dear reader and fellow pet lover, have any more suggestions, insights, or advice for people considering getting a new pet – especially after the loss of a previous one – please feel free to provide your experiences and wisdom upon sharing this article with others on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook. We’re all in this together. Peace.
