Pet loss can be a devastating experience.
Attempting to console pet parents and families after the death of a beloved family member is full of challenges, especially knowing what to say… and how to say it. As much as we’d like to lessen the grief of the bereaved and spare them such sadness, it often feels like our words or actions are never sufficient.
However, it is important to keep in mind that people who suffering appreciate knowing they are not alone, and that their despair — regardless of the form it takes — is a very human and appropriate reaction to the loss of a beloved pet.
Many pet parents and pet families announce the death of a pet not only in person, but also online through social media platforms like Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram. So, below, we’ve also composed messaging suitable for the character counts and sensibilities of popular social media channels.
In-Person Pet Loss Condolences
Consoling the bereaved in person can be especially challenging because the grief of people we love and respect easily becomes our grief when we’re near them, hugging them, or simply holding their hand as they process the loss through their body and soul.
The power of in-person condolences is that your presence, your decision to be there with that person or people communicates everything of value that words could ever convey. Your presence is a heartfelt prayer, a comforting poem, and a loving conversation that is expressed by your decision to be there in person when you felt someone needed you.
The traditional in-person comment to the bereaved is “I’m sorry for your loss,” which is adequate and a standard response simply because it is short and therefore doesn’t cross any boundaries that may complicate your message, especially when the listener is suffering and not fully capable of processing complicated sentiments during their stressed emotional state.
[Check out the Top Five Pet Loss Books for Children]
However, an effective statement addresses three key components of a pet loss:
One: the person who is bereaved,
Two: the pet who has died,
Three: the relationship between the two of them.
Therefore, a succinct and direct expression of your thoughts and sentiments can be conveyed in person by saying, “I’m so sorry this happened to you. [Pet’s name] had such a beautiful soul and was so [personality trait]. [Pet’s name] was so lucky to have you as a parent and guardian, and I’m sure they are grateful for the joy and love you provided to their time on earth.”
Social Media Pet Loss Condolences
Communicating complicated feelings and nuanced emotions is difficult when you’re reaching across the internet and limited to a specific number of characters and words. However, the same rule of 3 applies to your communications on platforms such as Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Twitter.
When responding to an online post that someone has published to announce the passing of a beloved pet, read it carefully. Oftentimes, these pet tributes, remembrances, and announcements are written in a cloud of sadness, so be very gentle and compassionate as you read your way through the vulnerable thoughts of another person. Next, respond thoughtfully to their words.
In your response, perhaps pull out a few words that struck you as exceptionally moving. By responding, “Thank you for sharing this moment, I especially loved your words ‘Gizmo had the heart of a friendly lion,’ which truly captured his personality and spirit for those of us who were fortunate enough to spend time with him at the dog park.”
If you never met the bereaved individual or pet in person – which is very common in online groups and social media channels where pet lovers share their lives and pet relationships – your sense of loss is still very real, and your expression of compassion and concern is equally legitimate.
When communicating your condolences online to those whom you have come to know online, respond by contextualizing the community aspect of your online friendship. General expressions about pet relationships can be moving and suitable for such a delicate moment. For example, “You were clearly such a loving and wonderful pet parent. Showing our humanity to animals gives us all hope for the future of everything. An inspiration to all of us.”
Pet Loss Condolences Through Emojis
Much of online communication, of course, is expressed through emojis – which can express simple and relatable emotions very effectively. Using emojis to capture the complex feelings that come with grief – from sadness and anger to appreciation and even relief (for those pets who were suffering) – can present challenges for those offering condolences. In this case, many opt for several or even a series and combinations of emojis to convey their thoughts and sentiments.
Emojis can be the perfect means of communication for people who struggle to find the right words during sensitive moments. Remember: never judge how someone grieves, and never judge how someone attempts to console the bereaved. Trying to do the right thing is all one can ever do in life. And death. Our pets probably understand this better than anyone.